Saturday, June 4, 2011

Belittle Me


Style My Closet
Someone was rude to me this week. So rude that I couldn't sleep, that I obsessed over the why's and how come's for the entire day following it. It made me think of high school a bit. When it was the thing to do for your guy friends to lead into a conversation with a snide remark about how you looked or what you were wearing. Except this wasn't high school and this wasn't a teenager. It was an adult.
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Being around people like that makes me act like someone I hate. It's not that I want to go through life wearing bubble wrap. I can take my fair share of abuse, insults, and hurtful comments. I'm usually able to come back with something to either let them know that I can handle it, or I walk away from the situation all together. 
Style My Closet
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I've talked about how I'm trying to be nicer and cut down on the sarcasm, especially when it comes to meeting new people, but that night I had to be someone that I didn't like at all. I had to be extremely rude and I hated it. I tried for a long time to keep the plastered smile on until I hit my breaking point. Even though I tried to remove myself from the situation several times by turning my back, walking away, and not directing any conversation towards this person, it didn't work. Trying to joke and smirk my way through it didn't work out in my favor either. They continued to find their way over to me for the single purpose of being cruel. At one point I was even shoved across the room. 
DSC_0304@316  Style My Closet
Style My Closet
People say that living in a city gives you a certain edge that people who don't live here might not necessarily have. I think that just living around other people gives you an edge. Everyone comes at life with a different perspective, from a different angle, and with a different outlook. Not everyone is going to be nice, although it would be great if they all were I also realize this isn't a fantasy world. I certainly learned my lesson this week. 
Style My Closet
Living in a bigger city you're exposed to more people, so it's more likely that you will bump into someone who isn't the most pleasant to be around. A part of me thinks that these particular type of people use being in the middle of a huge city as an excuse for their rudeness. It's not ok to be disrespectful to one person simply because there is a larger volume of people here. When I leave my apartment I never intend on being a stranger's target to dump their frustrations on.
Style My Closet
Live and learn I guess. I should have removed myself from the situation far sooner than I did. And by that I mean, I should have left all together. This person didn't deserve to have control over my night, but I let him. Up until that point I was having fun, laughing, and enjoying a night out with friends. What I did realize is that there's a distinct difference between someone who is sarcastic with good intentions and a person who uses their voice to belittle others. 
Style My Closet
Sunglasses from Sucre, Madewell Jeans, Jeffrey Campbell Sandals
Vintage Ring from my Grandma, Vintage Earrings from Spitalfields Market
Sheer Polka Dot Tunic Borrowed from Jupe Boutique

I am very aware that there are a large group of people will be always be crass, rude, ignorant, offensive, etc. I can't change that, but a big part of me does want to understand it. I realize that's almost asking for the impossible too. So the next logical answer is to accept it. Seems to be a common theme for me these days. See the problem, acknowledge it, accept it, move on. So, moving on...
Style My Closet
On a completely different and much more positive note, last week Terra put up her Style My Closet feature! While I was in Pittsburgh we made plans to stop by Jupe Boutique so I could be Terra's style challenge for the month. She picked out this sheer polka dot top for us to style. Of course I went with a simple top and pants sort of look, while Terra put me back in my pink skirt for a ladylike vibe. You can check out more photos and read about Terra's take on the looks in her post, Jupe Boutique's Style My Closet
Style My Closet
Style My Closet
Style My Closet
Sunglasses from Sucre, Skirt from Anthropologie, Ring from Anthropologie
Vintage Clutch from Tree & Kimball Market, Custom Harness from Clyde's Rebirth
Photos by Terra
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I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far! I spent some quality time in the park relaxing with Lua yesterday. Tonight I'm looking forward to meeting up with the always lovely Sarah who's in town with her husband for the weekend. Have a good one and be nice to a stranger!



signature_jane

34 comments:

Terri said...

Oh, I love the way YOU have styled this blouse with the white pants...very dramatic and yet understated.

As for the jerk...his comments say more about him than they do about you.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this experience will help you become more away of how your own words affect a person. Don't you think your sarcasm makes other people the same way? Like they want to leave the situation, incredibly uncomfortable?

The Daily Fashionista said...

Oh that whole situation really isn't cool. A dude who shoved you? That is complete B.S. And nobody deserves to be treated like that. (Take note, insensitive "anonymous") Ugh, I'm so mad that this had to happen to you.

Aside from all the negatives I do want to point out the positive and the obvious. You look fab!

Caroline said...

Ewwwf that is terrible. Keep on holding your head hi and know you are great!! xo.

Frannie Pantz said...

I hate that kind of behavior. Whatta jerk!

I love your top. Both outfits are amazing. I love your hair in the second outfit.

Sorry about all the negativity. Keep your head up!

KristiMcMurry said...

Sorry about the rude guy :( That's so rough when it's bad enough that you think about it the whole next day! But it happens I guess...I hope you have fully recovered now :) I love the way you styled that top with the pants! It looks great on you!

NodToStyle said...

wow, was that a stranger treating you that way?! i guess it doesn't matter either way, rude is rude. i think tasteful sarcasm (does that exist?) is fine, it can be smart and witty. however, there is a huge difference between sarcasm and harassment. that person sounds completely out of line!

Kate said...

Aw, man. Sometimes people are so awful. It always blows my mind. I'm aware that I'm not always total sunshine, but I think it's just naturally ingrained in me to be kind, to be polite, and it always rattles me when someone just isn't. Hope you are doing okay. I know you are certainly LOOKING okay... more than okay, you look so, so gorgeous in this post! I LOVE how you styled this top, it's perfect with the white jeans and platforms. I want to own this, top to bottom!

amanda said...

people suck. that's just all there is to it. some folks don't know how to treat others with respect. there is a huge difference between good natured sarcasm and ugly talk and attitudes. i hope these situations are very few and far between. and i also hope you are able to keep this blouse because damn, it's awesome.

J'Anns Boutique said...

Love ur style. That top is super cute and I like it style in both looks :-)....you will always find just plain rude people in the world...

A Girl's Next Best Friend

SarahAnn said...

What a meanie! (That rude dude and Anonymous.)

Sweet Laundry said...

Oh shoot. Someone shoved you? That's unbelievable. Amanda's right, people do suck. I don't know why people just can't be nice to eachother. It makes me sad.

What doesn't make me sad though, is this polka dot top and seeing this pink skirt again. As always, you look divine :)

Julie said...

I'm sorry you had to go through that! Some people are just miserable hateful creatures who want to make someone feel worse than they do b/c it makes them feel powerful. I hope karma kicks that guys ass! I love both of your outfits!

Miyan said...

sucks about the rude person thing; it happens and rudeness unfortunatly exists in this world. live and learn, i like how you put it and your attitude toward getting over it and moving on. my cousin was in rome visiting friends a few days ago and she was just assulted, some guy lit her hair on fire and headbutted her and broke her nose. why? he was probably drunk. but there is no excuse for people being rude or hurting other people. im sorry that happened to you.

Miyan

www.miyan-overseas.blogspot.com

hello haha narf said...

sounds to me that the person who was beyond rude is incredibly jealous of how beautiful and smart you are. some people feel better when they can make the object of their jealousy feel bad. so sad.

Sophie said...

I'm sorry this happened to you. random mr.hateful sucks! what a looser!
just don't take it personal. he needed someone to hate on and you were there. coincidence.

on a happier note you look smashing! I'm lovin' the tunic!

kelsey williams said...

you are so gorgeous.

Becky-May said...

Your blouse is so so lovely!

The Flower Girl

thebohemiangoods.blogspot.com

In Pursuit of Style said...

It makes me mad that someone was mean to you! I have lived in/around NYC all my life and yes, being 'thick skinned' and sarcastic is a trait - but a lot of those people also have feelings, and we should never forget to be human. This city & its people are sometimes mean to me too, and I consider myself a native!
In other news, you look amazing, so boo on the jerk.

In Pursuit of Style

Sarrsparky said...

I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with such a rude person!! It's true, being in a large city should not be an excuse for people to be rude to one another ... unfortunately not all people take these words to heart. A way of looking at it I guess is that quite often, the person's source of rudeness is not from anything personal but possibly from some other incident. Of course for those of us who experience the backlash of the rudeness, this isn't exactly thrilling news ... but at least it will put our minds to ease that it's not necessarily because we did something wrong. At least that's how I've felt sometimes ... but yes there is a bit of seesawing on how much is being too nice to someone when they're not respecting you back in the same manner?
Love the sheer polka dot top btw!! I actually loved how it looked with your white pants. =)

Nita -Karoliina said...

you look nice here!

sparkle is a color (Katrina) said...

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Those situations are so hard - when you just want to be rude and nasty right back, even if that makes you just as bad as they are.

I love this look! That top is amazing. I'm a sucker for black and white together.

xx, Katrina
Sparkle is a Color

Kelsey said...

I know how you feel one time my next door neighbor was so rude to me that I came inside and just cried. I just don't understand ether, I couldn't sleep that night at all.

andrea k (blonde bedhead) said...

You are so incredibly beautiful. I love all these images and I can totally relate to having to be a dick sometimes and that you don't like that part of yourself, but you have to do it. It sounds weird when I try to explain it, but I totally get it. I am obsessed with you and how goddamn gorgeous you are!

forefrontfash said...

you probably got shoved because you're hot.
haters gonna hate!

GIRL AND CLOSET said...

Ack, hate when people are rude, sorry to hear that happened to you, it can really affect me as well! But there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and being assertive because you don't have to put up with peoples sh**t! ;-)

And of course I lovey your outfits, love that your outfits are so simple, but yet have so much style & presence!! Hope you're having the loveliest of Thursdays. xx veronika

Jacquelyn said...

OMG I completely understand! You can only try to be the bigger person for so long.

xo Jackie
http://livingaftermidnite.blogspot.com

Anastasia said...

I know how you feel. I just can't understand people who are rude. Especially when we are all adults. I am also a naturally sarcastic and blunt person, sometimes I struggle with that as well.

Jazzy E (hivenn) said...

love the polkas! x hivenn

Meggy said...

Gross! You can never completely avoid the rude or cruel people - even as adults. But those people are really just dealing with their own sets of major problems.

The outfit, the polka dots, the crisp white - amazing. Just found you!

Meggy from Chasing Davies

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