Belittle Me

Someone was rude to me this week. So rude that I couldn't sleep, that I obsessed over the why's and how come's for the entire day following it. It made me think of high school a bit. When it was the thing to do for your guy friends to lead into a conversation with a snide remark about how you looked or what you were wearing. Except this wasn't high school and this wasn't a teenager. It was an adult.

Being around people like that makes me act like someone I hate. It's not that I want to go through life wearing bubble wrap. I can take my fair share of abuse, insults, and hurtful comments. I'm usually able to come back with something to either let them know that I can handle it, or I walk away from the situation all together. 

  

I've talked about how I'm trying to be nicer and cut down on the sarcasm, especially when it comes to meeting new people, but that night I had to be someone that I didn't like at all. I had to be extremely rude and I hated it. I tried for a long time to keep the plastered smile on until I hit my breaking point. Even though I tried to remove myself from the situation several times by turning my back, walking away, and not directing any conversation towards this person, it didn't work. Trying to joke and smirk my way through it didn't work out in my favor either. They continued to find their way over to me for the single purpose of being cruel. At one point I was even shoved across the room. 

  

People say that living in a city gives you a certain edge that people who don't live here might not necessarily have. I think that just living around other people gives you an edge. Everyone comes at life with a different perspective, from a different angle, and with a different outlook. Not everyone is going to be nice, although it would be great if they all were I also realize this isn't a fantasy world. I certainly learned my lesson this week. 

Living in a bigger city you're exposed to more people, so it's more likely that you will bump into someone who isn't the most pleasant to be around. A part of me thinks that these particular type of people use being in the middle of a huge city as an excuse for their rudeness. It's not ok to be disrespectful to one person simply because there is a larger volume of people here. When I leave my apartment I never intend on being a stranger's target to dump their frustrations on.

Live and learn I guess. I should have removed myself from the situation far sooner than I did. And by that I mean, I should have left all together. This person didn't deserve to have control over my night, but I let him. Up until that point I was having fun, laughing, and enjoying a night out with friends. What I did realize is that there's a distinct difference between someone who is sarcastic with good intentions and a person who uses their voice to belittle others. 

Sunglasses from Sucre, Madewell Jeans, Jeffrey Campbell Sandals
Vintage Ring from my Grandma, Vintage Earrings from Spitalfields Market
Sheer Polka Dot Tunic Borrowed from Jupe Boutique

I am very aware that there are a large group of people will be always be crass, rude, ignorant, offensive, etc. I can't change that, but a big part of me does want to understand it. I realize that's almost asking for the impossible too. So the next logical answer is to accept it. Seems to be a common theme for me these days. See the problem, acknowledge it, accept it, move on. So, moving on...

On a completely different and much more positive note, last week Terra put up her Style My Closet feature! While I was in Pittsburgh we made plans to stop by Jupe Boutique so I could be Terra's style challenge for the month. She picked out this sheer polka dot top for us to style. Of course I went with a simple top and pants sort of look, while Terra put me back in my pink skirt for a ladylike vibe. You can check out more photos and read about Terra's take on the looks in her post, Jupe Boutique's Style My Closet. 

Sunglasses from Sucre, Skirt from Anthropologie, Ring from Anthropologie
Vintage Clutch from Tree & Kimball Market, Custom Harness from Clyde's Rebirth
Photos by Terra

I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far! I spent some quality time in the park relaxing with Lua yesterday. Tonight I'm looking forward to meeting up with the always lovely Sarah who's in town with her husband for the weekend. Have a good one and be nice to a stranger!

Scenes from a Trip : Pittsburgh, PA

Pittsburgh! A couple of weekends ago I made the long drive out to visit Terra in her fair city. Since our last meet up in New York we'd been planning on getting together again as soon as we could. I'd never been to Pittsburgh so it made perfect sense for me to hop in the car and make the trip to see her. The drive was long but it was worth it as soon as I put my car in park and saw Terra's smiling face. That night we took a stroll around her neighborhood and grabbed a bite to eat. Then we went back to her house to relax for the rest of night. I'm sure I talked her and her husband's ear off as we lounged, flipped through their photo albums, and played with the pups.

Saturday morning Terra and I woke up bright and early and went out on a breakfast date. She took me to Coca Cafe in a different part of town. We had been talking about all the delicious food we would have for weeks leading up the trip. Terra knew exactly which places to take me to. We both eat fairly healthy so it was easy to pick out places she knew we both would love. It was so nice just to soak up the morning sun, sip on tea, and catch up with each other lives sitting face to face. 

Of course she had to show me some of her favorite places to shop in town. Terra made sure to take me to Pavement and Jupe Boutique. We had to pick up a special item at Jupe for Terra's Style My Closet feature. I tried on a few different pieces for her, but she ultimately decided it would be the best to style a sheer polka dot top. 

We toured around Pittsburgh for the rest of the day, went grocery shopping, drove through the different neighborhoods, and gabbed it up the whole time. One of the best things about girl only time is all the brutally honest conversations you have. There are no barriers, no filters, and it's fun because we've all probably been there, wherever there is. We had some pretty lively debates, some advice giving, and of course plenty of story telling. Somewhere between seeing the city and settling in at the house, we went out to take pictures for the Style My Closet feature. 

Saturday night was spent relaxing in the backyard with some of their friends. I'm pretty sure we covered every topic imaginable, including a lengthy discussion on Nuclear Power. I may have been in a little over my head, but I enjoyed all the discussion none the less. It's always interesting for me to meet new people and hear their stories. After a late dinner of veggie burritos that Terra and I sleepily whipped up, I was off to bed. Not for nothing but they were pretty darn delicious. Sunday morning I woke up to the smell of fresh pancakes in the kitchen. Like I said, the weekend was going to be about food. The pretty lady had made her special banana pancakes. It was just what I needed before I hit the road for the long drive back to my city. 

I talked a bit about the trip already, but I honestly can't say enough good things about it. I'm so thankful that this blog has given me the opportunity to have all these new people in my life. I loved being able to stay with Terra and have her show me around her city. Terra, her husband, and the pups welcomed me into their home with open arms. The trip went by way too quickly! I can't wait until I get to see Terra again. The next time I see her she might even have a little baby girl in her arms...

If you haven't met Terra yet, make sure to check out her blog, Stylish White Female. She is one of the most generous, warm, funny, sweet people I have ever met. Not to mention extremely stylish and an exceptionally cute pregnant lady.  

Thank you so much Terra for letting me stay and showing me around your city. I miss you already!

Things Borrowed

This is an example of an outfit I didn't wear out. I wore it for the first third of the night, then changed into something much more familiar to me, a silk button down, cuffed skinny jeans, and booties. Since I've been particularly slacking about taking pictures lately I thought I'd still share these. There were some elements of this outfit that I really liked. 

It's great having met all these ladies through blogging because they are usually more then happy to swap and share the items in their closets. It reminds me of getting ready in college and running around the dorm borrowing different things from all your girl friends. I don't have a sister so that was the first time I ever got ready with a group of girls. 

Terra from Stylish White Female and I contacted each other a few weeks ago about swapping some items. I'd been emailing back and forth with her about outfits and we decided that there were some things I had that were missing from her closet and vice versa. She lent me two basic black mini dresses. I wore the tank mini under this dress, because the tan dress was see through. It also helped give me a little more shape. 

Before I went to Philly, to visit Kim and Brian again, I had a girls night with Melissa at her apartment. We ate dinner, sipped wine, and tried on a few options. She has been helping me add some more feminine to my wardrobe. I borrowed this belt she got at the Brooklyn Flea Market and tried to soak up all her how to be womanly advice. 

The necklace was another purchase from Merl, friend and shop owner of Clyde's Rebirth. I asked her to bring a fresh crop of necklaces to Philly when I saw her for New Years and this is the one I picked. I have been getting so much use out of it. Its casual, versatile, and I love that I have a friend who makes one of a kind vintage jewelry. I can count on her whenever I need a new piece. Recently I've been bugging her for a ring, and she hasn't disappointed there either. She has a few hitting her shop in the near future! 

Dress from Lord & Taylor, Tights from Bloomingdale's, Booties from Seychelles
Brooklyn Flea Market Belt Borrowed from Melissa, Black Dress Borrowed from Terra
My Grandma's Vintage Ring, Necklace from Clyde's Rebirth

This outfit had its highlights and its flaws. Everything considered I just needed to be comfortable in what I was wearing. I think I'll try to wear this dress again in a more me friendly, casual way. Huge thank you to Kim for tackling my make up, and her friend Tara for curling my hair. I can always count on Kim for the best winged eye liner when I'm in town. 

Photos by Kim

NYC has been buzzing with all the New York Fashion Week goings on. I've been at work, but hopefully I'll get to meet up with some of my favorite ladies this weekend for some chat time. Since I haven't been able to attend any of the conferences in town I signed up for the Indie Conference run by Tieka and Elizabeth. They're doing a great job running it! After going on about how I don't have time to balance work, real life friends, and blogging I have absolutely no idea how they're able to keep up with everything! Hats off to them for doing such a wonderful job!

Have a great weekend wherever you are. If you're in NYC don't hesitate to get in touch with me. Otherwise go hug a puppy and snuggle a kitten!

Scenes from a Holiday : New Years II

 

New Year's Day was a whirlwind. The team at Kim and Brian's, who were scattered throughout the apartment, woke up early and got right back to it. We headed over to Broad Street to see the Mummer's Parade make its way through Philly. There were plenty of fancy dressed Mummer's in the street, and loads of people who were more than happy to keep the party going from the night before. 

  

When we'd had our fill of seeing the crazy parade goers we made a quick pit stop in Rittenhouse Square to take some pictures, regroup, and figure out where we were going to eat. It being New Year's Day, there was more than enough confetti to go around and keep the celebrating fancy. 

  

By 4pm we had finally made our way to Pub & Kitchen for brunch. The vibe was just right for hanging out and rehasing the night before. Kim and I both ordered the crab cake sandwich, which absolutely hit the spot. The food was delicious and further convinced me that I really enjoy Philly. 

We spent the rest of the day lounging at the apartment with tea and a few movies. I was on yerba mate duty for the afternoon. The crazy days leading up to New Years left us whipped out. We ordered in that night and got cozy under blankets. 

Merl left early Sunday morning. Before she walked out the door I picked out my latest Clyde's Rebirth purchase then sadly sent her on her way. Over the weekend I kept forgetting that I live so far away from these people who have become such a big part of my life. I suppose because I talk to them everyday, and see their lives played out through blogging it's easy to feel their presence in my everyday life.

  

After Merl left we went to the South Street Diner for some breakfast. It reminded me a lot of the diners from where I grew up. Everything about the weekend was really comforting and familiar, especially considering that just a few months ago I didn't know any of these people. When we had finished at the diner, Kim and I tried to go to one of her favorite cupcake places in the city. We walked determined through the rain only to find the doors locked and the shop closed for the day. The afternoon was spent back at their apartment, where I dragged my feet until I absolutely had to leave to drive home and end my wonderful New Year's weekend in Philly.

Photos by Me, Brian, and Merl

I always enjoy my trips to Kim's neck of the woods. There's something so easy about being surrounded by people who don't expect anything of you, other than yourself. I can be whoever I need to be that day, and that's just fine. Luckily, the good times don't have to end because right now Kim and her beau Brian are visiting me for the weekend! I'm so happy I'm able to return the favor and show them around some of my very favorite places. Have a happy weekend!